10 Things Not To Say To A Stephen King Fan
1. I love Stephen King, too. I don’t read the books, but I’ve seen the movies. (Great.)
2. Doesn't he just write about monsters? (Sure, that’s what he does.)
3. Have you read the one about the clown? (Yeah, we have.)
4. I don’t read his stuff. I read Insomnia once but didn't finish. (Neither did most of us)
5. I prefer movies like The Green Mile to all that Stephen King stuff.
6. Why can’t I read your copy of The Shining? (Because it’s a first edition)
7. Do you only read Stephen King? (Uh-huh. Made it clear through college and seminary reading nothing but Stephen King.)
8. He’s too scary for me. I read that book – what’s it called? – about the girl with the powers. (Carrie. He doesn't just write scary stuff.)
9. I don’t need to read Under The Dome, I saw it on TV.
10. Stephen King didn't write Stand By Me. (Yes he did)
Nope, I checked his book list, it’s not there. (That's because it's not called Stand By Me.)
See, I told you he didn't write it. (It's called the Body.)
Hey, that's not on his book list, either. (It's in another book called Different Seasons)
Yeah, I don't think you're thinking of the same movie. I'm talking about Stand By Me, about a bunch of kids. (Okay, whatever.)
Finally . . . I'm not a Stephen King fan, I'm a constant reader. What's the difference? I'm interested in what he writes, not chasing around after him.