Well, after the super fantastic review of Thinner from Christina Durner (posted HERE), I decided to give it a second shot. Maybe I had forgotten something.
The Review:
Once again, here is the meat of Durner's review:
Thinner is by far the best gypsy curse movie that this reviewer has ever seen. The plot is incredibly original and captivating. The performances are dynamic and enthralling. The special effects are impeccable and flawless. This films is proof of why Stephen King truly is a master of the macabre and brings the genre of gypsy curses to a whole new level.
BUT. . . all that said. . . something still doesn't work in this movie.
- It is the best gypsy curse movie I have seen, too.
- The plot is original and captivating.
- The performances are dynamic.
- The special effects are very good.
- The story, not film, is proof why King is the master of the macabre.
Here's what the MST3K gang at my house said:
The monkey: Billy looked fatter than 300 pounds. Wayyy fatter. I would give it an A. When asked, "What made that a good movie?" Monkey responds, "I liked the concept of it. It was a good story."
The Diva: I thought that the ending was confusing. The kid ate the pie, and you don't know what happened to her. Grade: C
The Crazy Person: "She was DEAD! That kid was dead when she ate the pie! And that was gross when the guy poured blood out of his hand. And why was the man so fat? And why did that man eat the pie." Grade: It was a dumb movie. I will give it a G. G stands for BAD. (After a discussion about letter grades, the Crazy Person changed their grade to an F.)
Sadly, I'm afraid I'm left agreeing most with the Crazy Person.
So, what doesn't work?
1. Though the characters might be well performed, none of them are likable. You wouldn't want to take a road trip with any of them! There is no character that anchors the movie.
2. It is depressing. there is no sunshine here!
3. The plot is poorly executed. The scenes move in a logical, but not suspenseful manner.
A movie should make you want to read the book; to find what you're missing. But Thinner does not inspire me to go read the novel.
The less I watch Thinner, the better my life will be. In fact, i don't even own a copy. Went to get Thinner out of my Stephen King DVD collection, only to discover I had never bothered to buy it. What a wise man! My wife rented me a copy. I let the people in our house choose which movie to watch: Man in the Iron mask or Thinner. They chose Thinner. They now want their money back. . . except the Monkey, who thinks this is a good movie.
Terrible movie. One of THE very worst to be based on something written by King. Worse than "Sleepwalkers"; worse than "Maximum Overdrive"; worse even than "Sleepwalkers."
ReplyDeleteThe novel isn't great or anything, but it's pretty good -- and WAAAAAAAAAAAAY better than the movie.
I didn't know you were an MST3K fan Reverend.
ReplyDeleteIf you're looking for more in the same vein I got some good news. The makers of MST3K have started an online site called Rifftrax.
Basically it takes up where MST left off, only now the riff and poke fun of famous movies, such as both Star Wars trilogies and Raiders of the Lost Ark. They make fun a of Jackson's Rings trilogy, however Honk, you'll be happy to know that they're Tolkien fans and it's done with the deepest respect. And yes, they make sure to tear Transformers and Michael Bay apart.
They've got video samples of the films in question just to give you an idea of their material and even how to videos to the site. ChrisC says check it out.
It can be reached at www.rifftrax.com
I get no royalties.
Incidentally, I forgot to ask. What's your favorite MST3K episode?
ReplyDeleteFor me it's a toss up between a very little (in fact not at all and maybe that's a good thing) gem called Space Mutiny and the immortal Bard's Hamlet (done so bad Ken Brannagh was envious).
ChrisC
I love MST3K, although I've only seen a handful of episodes.
ReplyDeleteI've only seen one movie with RiffTrax, and that was "Twilight." Pretty funny. Won't watch it on a movie I actually like, though, so "lord of the Rings" or "Star Trek" or the like is something I will never hear the RiffTrax for.
I like "Final Justice."
ReplyDeleteA Stephen King MST3K would be a blast.
By the way, Bryant, nothing -- NOTHING -- is worse than Sleepwalkers. Give me Plan 9 From Outerspace before Sleepwalkers.
My problem was -- there were people in the room LIKING Thinner. I didn't want to sway them with comments of how incredibly BAD I thought it was.
Reverend, you are in luck. There's a spot in the rifftrax site called iriffs, fan and user generated rifftrax made by the likes of you or me, although I've done none, and sold online.
DeleteThe iriff is for Stephen King's It. Just type in rifftrax Stephen King's It and click on the rifftrax link listed. you can also log onto rifftrax website and search from there.
You'll be given video samples given, and they also post rifftrax and iriff samples on youtube.
The riffs for the hellspawn that is Michael Bay's Transformers series is priceless.
ChrisC