I'm Just A Lowly Reader

I admit, I am just a lowly reader.

Have you other lowly readers ever notice. . . Some publishers act like we're doing something bad by wanting to buy a book.  A book they're selling!. . . a book they will make money on. 

In fact, some publishers seem flat out angry at the readers!  These publishers behave as if they are doing you a big favor by allowing you to buy from them.  Some publishers really wish no one wanted their books. . . then they could have them all to themselves!
Here are some favorite lines from the Donald M. Grant website:
  • Please do not call or email us asking for more information than is posted here. (that's in red.  I wonder why they have a phone.)
  • The Signed Numbered Deluxe Edition can be ordered only by those who have a S/N THE LITTLE SISTERS OF ELURIA below # 801 (DOH!  Imagine being the poor reader who owns #801.  They're reading this, going, "You've got to be kidding me!"   Merry Christmas, and if you are #801 and above, then there is no room in the inn. . .)
  • You must still own it when we ship THE WIND THROUGH THE KEYHOLE or your order will be cancelled (ooohhhh!, is someone angry?  They tell us what we msut own in order to buy the book.  Not just that we previously purchased from them, but we still have to own it.  I wonder what they would do if the book got torn in half and is now owned by two people) and any deposit/payment refunded and the Deluxe Edition sold to the new owner.  (Aren't they assuming the "new owner" would want to buy the new book?  They also left an "i" out of "deposit."  Not worth pointing out. . . except that they publish books and stuff like that!)
  • We will then do a lottery drawing approximately six weeks after the Deluxe Editions are shipped for remaining available copies but as we expect there to be very few copies available the lottery will be restricted to owners of Numbered THE LITTLE SISTERS OF ELURIA between 801 and 1,250.  (We bow in humility before the mighty publisher.  Gosh, ma, we wouldn't want these books falling in the wrong hands!)
  • Send us a POSTCARD -- NOT an email or letter -- which reads. . . (Wow, there is a lot of tension in these rules.  we should feel ashamed for even wanting to buy the book!  Didn't they already say not to email them?  It is tempting to drop them an email just to cause the writer of these rules to explode in rage.  And I am also wondering: Who is it that has the postcard collection over there?  Do I get a better chance if I send a postcard of the Stanley Hotel?)
  • And my favorite: REMEMBER, only send in ONE post card per copy of The Little Sisters of Eluria that you have. If we receive more than one request from anyone we will throw them ALL away.  (Yep, there is some seriously unresolved anger in the rules department over there!  I like that, "we will throw them all away. . ." lousy readers!  Sheesh.  Imagine, wanting to buy our precious books!)
You will want to note the sign on the door as you enter: "No shoes, no shirt, no copy of Little Sisters, no service." 

What made them so angry?  What did readers do that caused this rage?  Is there someone out there who needs to say "sorry"?  If you have mistreated this publisher -- please, please, please tell them sorry! 

Now, the publisher would defend all this by saying they are seeking only to give first cancel to those who have previously bought signed numbered books.  I understand that.  I don't understand the negative -- even hostile -- tone toward the readers. 
What if Walmart did this when you purchased Aquafresh? . . .
Cashier: "You know, you can only buy this toothpaste if you have purchased this brand before." 
Me: "Oh yes, I have." 
Cashier: "But your previous purchase has to have a serial number below 8,000.  Your previous Aquafresh purchase was 8,123.12, which is clearly not within our guidelines." 
Me: "But I still want to buy it." 
Cashier: "Well, send us a postcard and maybe we'll consider letting you smell the breath of someone who actually bought it." 
Me: "But you have piles of it, right here!  Maybe I can call my order in." 
Cashier: "No!  No!  No!  You may not call!  Calling is not allowed.  And definitely, never ever ever ever email!  We hate the Internet, we hate the phone.  But you may send us a postcard." 
Me: "Does the postcard have to be from anywhere specific?" 
Cashier: "No.  But it must have a stamp with a year before 1982 and a bar code not containing the number 6." 
Me: "I see.  All perfectly reasonable.  I'm sorry I wanted to buy your product."
Cashier: "You are forgiven.  But you will be charged for taking so much of my time." 
Me: "I am so ashamed of myself." 
Know why Walmart doesn't do that?  Because they actually want to sell stuff!  And, to make the sale, they have to be nice.  Sadly, no matter how arrogant the publisher is, readers will accept the nonsense in order to get the book. 

Other publishers treat readers with what I can only call glad enthusiasm.  Personally, I'm sticking with Cemetery Dance for special editions.  The signed stuff sells out quick at Cemetery Dance, but they're not angry about it!  In fact, they seem flat out thrilled to be selling King items, and really seem to like the readers.

4 comments:

  1. Well said, David!

    Grant does seem to have a somewhat contentious attitude toward their customers. On the other hand, I imagine that their customers tend to be fairly high-maintenance. Collecting books is a form of OCD, and dealing with people with OCD -- even a mild dose of it -- can be quite a chore.

    I suspect they are also trying to stave off the advances of book speculators: people who, given the opportunity, would buy dozens of copies so that they could resell them years later for a massive profit. And I'm all for stiff-arming those goons. They are scum of the earth, and whatever difficulty comes to them in the course of pursuing their shifty little art, I'm all for it.

    The thing that upsets me about the Grant edition is that the cover is terrible. I mean, absolutely TERRIBLE. Not the artwork; the art by Jae Lee is great (as usual). But that font...! And the layout...!! It looks like something slapped together in five minutes on a laptop.

    Given that the least expensive edition is $75, Grant ought to be ashamed of themselves for putting out something that shabby looking. Any issue of Marvel's DT comic looks way better, and costs $4. This...? Looks like the cover of a sci-fi convention program, and not a reputable one, at that.

    Combine that with Grant's high-and-mighty attitudes, and you have something that leaves a mildly putrid taste in one's mouth.

    But I still -- sigh... -- pre-ordered a copy. Hey, what'm I gonna do, wait a month for the mass-market edition? Eff that!

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  2. David, have you been ordering from them since the beginning of the DT series?
    I can see why you're angry but I first ordered the DT3 from them when it was first published and none of this is new to me.
    You might or might not know that DMG is like 3 people and they are just stating things up front to make it easier for them.
    They have been nothing but professional and courteous to me since I bought my first book.
    I called their offices and had great chats with the woman that works there during not so busy times.
    Unlike Cemetary Dance who would announce and take your money years before the book was published DMG takes your money and sends their product within 6-8 months. No problems and a great product.

    I think most of your complaints are quite viable for the big publishers like Schriber who really don't care and are in it mainly for the money. But a small publisher like DMG that creates the books out of love for books and such deserves a little bit more leeway.

    I agree with maybe the tone of their demands are quite extreme but they are just using the same stance they decided on when Pet Semetary came out and there was a SK book know when had ever heard of on there, imagine the calls and demands that DMG must have received then!

    The whole "signed up until 801" thing is completely on Steve, think about it, why would they not want to sell more expensive books? He probably didnt want to sign more.
    I'm just going to completely disagree your walmart comments b/c you have a completely different view of a company that destroys small businesses, basically steals money from farmers and makes soooooooo much money but cuts their Health Insurance of their part-time employees and raises it for the full-time employees. No love for them from me.

    Good talking points though. thanks again for the site
    -Mike

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  3. Mike,

    thank you for the insights.


    I'm actually not angry at all; I found the ordering page off the charts funny because it came across so angry. I said, wide-eyed to my wife, "Wow, I just wanted to buy a book!" So it's all about tone, to me. I am not saying Grant is a bad publisher; I am saying they make you feel a little dirty to even wanting a copy of their book.


    I am glad your experience with them was positive. No, I have not purchased from them directly; my "Grant" buys came through Betts bookstore.


    As for walmart. . . it was just the store I chose. Was not seeking to support an industry destroying farmers! Now that I reflect on it, I would never ever purposely give credit to something Big Jim might support. Point was just that, no matter who diabolical they really are, they don't make you feel guilty for wanting the product.


    that is true about CD taking your order years in advance! I'm still waiting for Screamshows, which I bought way back when the gunslingers were all alive and well.


    Thanks for posting! All your points are well taken.

    davd

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  4. This is from King's news letter. . . why couldn't they have just said it this way?:

    Donald M. Grant is now taking advance orders for the limited editions of The Wind Through The Keyhole, illustrated by Jae Lee, which expects to ship by the end of February, 2012. There will be a Deluxe edition of 800 copies signed by Stephen and Jae Lee but orders will be open first to those who had previously ordered a S&N edition of The Little Sisters of Eluria below #801 and who still own their copy. If there are any copies remaining approximately 6 weeks after the Deluxe Edition is shipped, they will do a lottery drawing for those copies.

    In addition to the Deluxe Edition, there will be 5,000 copies of the Artist Edition signed by Jae Lee only and orders will be open to anyone for those editions.

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