What King Book Would Thomas Kinkade Illustrate ?

As far as I know Stephen King and Thomas Kinkade never collaborated.  I could imagine the painting above being a cover to a Stephen King novel. With the passing of the painter of light, I am left wondering what book would have best fit Kinkade.  Think book covers in particular.

My list:

1. The Body.
2. Duma Key.  A set of houses beautifully sit along the Florida Keys.
3. Bag of Bones.  A small cottage by the lake – you can see it, right?
4. Needful Things.  Small town where everything looks “all right.”  But imagine a dark, bluish glow coming from a certain shop on Main Street.
5. The Tommyknockers.  So, I don’t know if Kinkade is really such a great nominee here. . . but anything would be better than the green glow that the original novel had.  That was it!  Black, with a green streak of light.  What were they thnking over at Viking?  The idea session goes like this:

Viking exec #1, “Let’s put a lady digging up a buried spaceship.”
Exec. #2, “No!  It’s about a town.  Let’s have a picture of a town with a strange green glow in the background.”
Chief Exec: “That’s it!  Green glow.  We’ll go with that.”
Exec #2: “What about the town?”
Chief Exec: “Nope, just green glow.”
Exec #1: “But we’re going to have a spaceship, right?”
Chief Exec, “No way.  That ruins everything.  All we want is green glow.  That will sell books, inspire readers and . . .” whatever.  Same guys probably worked on The Talisman and Insomnia.  Oh, they had the same conversation about The Dark Half, but this time it was a blue gob instead of a green glow.  Brilliant, I say, brilliant!

6. How about this for The Dark Tower. . . Roland finally finds the thing on a fishing trip.

photo credit: fark.com

Anyone ever notice that Bachman got better book covers!  Until Thinner. . . which outed him as a King novel.

Kinkade gave us America the way we want it to be. I think of Kinkade as a modern Norman Rockwell.  He wasn't always beloved in the art community, but the American people adored him.   King gives us a dose of America the way it is. . . or, sometimes, worse!  He drudges up our worst fears.  But, so often he starts with something like a Kinkade painting.  All is nice and well – but trouble is brewing!

Both Kinkade and King got criticized by the upper-crust of their professions for not being artsy enough.  But they each gave people what they wanted.  I have read several quotes that go along the lines of, "What Stephen King is to writing, Thomas Kinkade was to painting."

Finally. . . one more. . .