Sleepwalkers

One of the movies I bought in my recent frenzy of purchases from the perishing Hollywood Video was Sleepwalkers.

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"Star Wars Christmas Special" Kinda Bad!

Now, I saw this with my dad when it came out in 1992; the year I graduated High School. I hated it. I thought maybe I had misjudged. Maybe time has softened my opinion of this film. Maybe it was really a great film, and I was just missing it. Nope. How do I say this... kindly... (can't be said kindly)... This movie rises to the great heights of films like Superman 4, Even numbered Star Trek movies, and the famous Star Wars Christmas Special (youtube it, gang. You'll be happy you did).

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Directed by Mick Garris, Sleepwalkers cameo's Stephen King as a cemetery keeper and Clive Barker as a forensic tech. Once again, everyone in this film (like in Maximum Overdrive and Children of the Corn) has an IQ high enough to work fo BP. King appears with a toothpick sticking from his mouth; remember the Beav from Dreamcatcher, Mr King?

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This isn't "so bad it's good" type of work. This is the kind of stuff CIA uses on would be terrorist to make them talk. "Please, don't show me that again! I'll talk!"

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Creepshows author Stephen Jones quotes King as saying, "By the early 1990's I'd written several films based on my own published works. Some, like creepshow, were pretty good; others, like Silver Bullet, were...well...not so good. I decided to take what I'd learned and write an original screenplay, and I had a bloody good time doing it." p.76

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I don't know about you, but I liked Silver Bullet a lot more than Sleepwalkers. Some information seems to be missing -- like what in the world is going on! Mother and son are shape-shifting vampires, and apparently very in love. Mama Vampire is hungry, and sonny needs to find her a virgin bloodshake. Maybe they're not related, they might be lovers simply disguising themselves as mother/son. Ick, I don't want to think about it.

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HITCHCOCK Never Made A Vampire Film!

Another Hitchcock influence: Jones also notes in Creepshows that Mark Hamill (that would be Luke Skywalker in the real world) appears in the opening sequence, which is set in California's Bodega Bay. This, Jones notes, is a nod to Alfred Hitchcocks 1963 The Birds. But why a vampire movie would need to make a nod to the birds is a little beyond me. Like, maybe it's a warning from the beginning of the movie, "Run, faithful movie goers -- this one is for the birds!"

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Cat Lovers Movie

Sleepwalkers and cats don't seem to get along. Of course, not getting along with a cat a part of a normal persons life.

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Staci Wilson gives this so very exciting trivia tidbit: According to Sleepwalkers director Mick Garris, the lead cat who played Clovis was so relaxed on the set, he can be heard purring on several of the final takes. As a dog person, I'm all a flutter! I haven't been so excited since I listened to that Lights Out Everybody episode by Arch Oboler called: "Cat People." http://www.staciwilson.com/animalmovies/sleepwalkers.html

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What Others Are Saying:

So, I thought maybe I was wrong still. Maybe my bad experience with this film is just mine alone. I headed out into the murky world of Internet to find out what others think:

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One for Garris: According to always reliable wikipedia, the movie won the 1992 Fantafestival Award for Best Actress (Krige), Best Direction (Garris), Best Film (Garris) and Best Screenplay (King). Humm, I think this Fantafestival might also be calling baseball pitches these days -- http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/37479309/ns/sports-baseball/

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Two for Garris: On the S.K. message board, Anna writes, "When will you publish Sleepwalkers? I love this movie..."

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Three for Garris: Blogger Crackle loved this film. She says, "it will be hard to put into words the sheer brilliance of this movie.." but then she tries. Too bad. Mostly she notes themes such as incest, virginity and cats. I hate cats. Of course, I must admit that I stopped reading when she said, "Now for our last two themes, cats and incest (both subjects named in my recent divorce)." Okay, too much information! http://blog.crackle.com/2009/08/07/sleepwalkers-stephen-king-teaches-us-about-vampire-cats/

Movie reviewers.

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Fine, I get it. So fans love this movie. So I'll move on to the movie reviewers. After all, movie reviewers get paid to hate movies.

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Stephen Holden at NY Times wrote a basically straightforward summery of the movie, not commenting on its value. But, Andrew Bain responded to the Times, writing "Sleepwalkers has comedy value, there's no doubt about it. A friend and I acutally had to pause the film during several scenes in the film, just because we couldn't hear over our own laughter. In one such scene a girl jumps into a police car when she is attacked by the vampire-cat-aliens (no, I am not making this up) and screams for help down the radio. A policewoman on the line screams back 'Andy,' (the name of the recently deceased policeman) 'Get with the program! Bye!'.I truely hope that some of you will watch this film just so you can appreciate how terrible it is." So there. That's ONE for me. And it's a big one, since it's a person responding to someone who is important. http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/review?res=9E0CE0DC123CF932A25757C0A964958260

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Variety said, "Stephen King's Sleepwalkers is an idiotic horror potboiler." http://www.variety.com/review/VE1117794958.html?categoryid=31&cs=1

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NOMINATED: MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000

I just realized something; it doesn't matter what they think. You are welcome to like this film -- be wrong, it won't hurt me a bit. I choose not to like this movie. So there. And, to rub it in, I respectfully nominate this movie to Mystery Science Theater 3,000. No, I won't take it back. Don't even ask. It's already nominated!

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picture: http://www.fanpop.com/spots/stephen-king/images/72839/title/sleepwalkers