The Stand: Hate Mail To A Stephen King Fan

Episode 7: The Walk

There’s a lot of complaining here.  I wouldn’t read it if I were you.  But I feel better.

Know what CBS’ The Stand is like?  It’s like getting hate mail for being a Stephen King fan.  How dare any of us like the novel and think things should slightly resemble the book.  Every aspect must be changed, every character, every scene.  It's like being told, "Hey, you can't like that.  We'll fix it for you, make it politically correct, and then you can like our new retelling." 

At the beginning of the uncut version of The Stand, King gave the example of Hansel and Gretel, suggesting it could be retold but too many cuts hurts the story.  That's what CBS has done; made not just cuts, but so many deep changes and bad decisions that at some point they stopped telling the story of The Stand and started on a brand-new clunky soap opera.

What’s with calling Mother Abigail “Mother A” ?  Rally, it’s illogical for the role she plays.  Mother Abigail is supposed to be a revered spiritual leader.  You call your buddy “Mother A.”  You call your spiritual leader by a respectable title… Such as “Mother.”  But shortening her name to “A” is disrespectful for the prophetess role she holds in the community.  

Trashcan Man.  I like this rendition a lot because he does seem crazy.  But our new Trashcan Man is so insane (a muttering fool) that it’s hard to believe he could know how to get access to a nuke, pull it from the silo and transport it.  This is a guy who seems like he would have trouble getting a bus ticket.  So in his great wisdom, this is the guy Flagg chose to get him a nuke? !!! 

Speaking of Flagg being a poor leader; what’s up with Las Vegas?  It’s just one endless orgy.  The Flagg that Stephen King gave us ran a tight ship.  We all know the bad guys basically implode, but wow this retelling gives him a big head start in that direction.

This is probably a good place to ask: What’s up with Lloyd?  He’s supposed to be a tough hardened criminal capable of running the underworld.  This Lloyd is just Trashcan Man’s little brother.  He’s like a junior high kid who just doesn’t have it together yet. In fact, all of New Vegas is kind of like junior high.

Turns out: Flagg is not scary enough to be the dark man; he’s not smart enough to choose someone with half a brain to get him a nuke (he’s not even bright enough to find himself a righthand man who’s not pathetic) and Flagg’s not inspirational enough to actually draw anyone to him.  Who would follow this Flagg?  Maybe Trashcan Man and Lloyd, but that’s it.  That Las Vegas is full of Flagg followers is thanks to the script writers putting them there; because there’s nothing the Flagg character that would make us think anyone would be drawn that direction.

Whoopie Goldberg as Mother Abigail doesn’t work.  Her acting is bad; it’s just Whoopie reciting lines.  Her wig is terrible.  Her makeup is. . . did they put makeup on her?  She doesn’t look over 60.  It’s like they weren’t even trying.  Someone threw a wig on Whoopie, she jumped in the bed and read her lines off a teleprompter and kindly collected her billion-dollar paycheck.  She doesn’t seem old, weak or authentic. 

Whoopie Goldberg is deserving of the title “Mother A”… because this is not Mother Abigail.  I know they want to reinvent everything, but they should try to do better, not dumb it down.  That’s what we’re getting with the Stand, a dumbed down version.  Not a dumbed down version of the novel, a dumbed down version of the original miniseries.  Ruby Dee nailed the role in 1994.  Whoopie Goldberg had big shoes to fill, and she didn’t even try.

It is nice to finally be free from Herold.  The role was well played, but the show was becoming the Herold Show.  They were so busy developing this character that it took 5 episodes for Larry to get enough screen time to become likeable.

I really like Larry’s attempt to give Herold some dignity in death.  Track with me… I’ve been teaching through the life of King David.  When Saul and Jonathan died, even though Saul had made himself David’s chief enemy, David went and rescued his dead body so that he would be buried with dignity. (2 Samuel 21)  I’m sure the writers didn’t have king David in mind when they did this, but it’s very much reminiscent of that Biblical scene.

All in all, this is series is reduced to a letter from CBS and the Stephen King inner circle, “Dear fans, we hate you.” 

King has said a show and movie can’t ruin a book.  He’s correct, the book is right there, ready to be read it again.  But for now, the story is marred for me.  I started rereading Swan Song last week and fell in love again.  So, thanks for the hate mail, CBS, but don’t get too full of yourselves; there are better looking girls out there.

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